The End

Although I still have to get caught up on all the posts for list items I've done, I really wanted to write this post about finishing the list now, because I want to remember the feelings I have at the end of it all. I'm still processing the fact that the list is complete, that I don't have to check anything else off, that I'm 30. I'm sure it'll come in time, but as for now, it all feels a bit surreal.






The last couple of months have been absolutely crazy for me, between vacation, spending time with friends and 29 (since he wouldn't choose a name and he helped me complete list item number 29, that's what he'll be called), and completing all these list items. Time sure flies when you're accomplishing your goals. Unfortunately, as you've probably realized, it hasn't left a lot of time for blogging. But I promise I'll get caught up soon!

 
There were a few things on this list that I was afraid I wouldn't be able to finish, especially once the time to complete them came closer, or a few times as I began them (most notably the tattoo, Treego and climbing that mountain. More on that later), but because of this blog and the list, I had the motivation to do things I would never have done before. And it makes me feel so proud of myself. 


  

It really amazes me when I think back to who I was a year ago. Yes, I was the same person, but all the parts of my personality that I've come to love were buried so deep that I was afraid they were gone. It's only been through the items on this list that I've been able to fight my way back to where I want to be. I felt like I was stuck with the life I'd been given, but now I know without a doubt that I can make my life what I want it to be.




To say that I'm a happier person now would be an understatement. Even on my happiest days last year there was always something holding me back, some nagging feeling that prevented me from feeling completely comfortable with who I was. It was doubt; doubt in myself, my abilities and in how others would accept me if I was truly myself. I'd been made to feel guilty for how I felt for years, afraid to give my real opinion, ask for what I wanted and enjoy all the things I loved. It's taken me a long time to realize that that was because of his insecurities, not mine. And I won't compromise myself like that again.


And so, here I am at the end of my 29th year, my 30th has just begun. Looking back over all the things I've done, I keep thinking about the Tim McGraw song "Live Like You Were Dying" (could be due to the large amounts of country music I heard at the Stampede). I went ziplining, I went Rocky Mountain climbing, I watched other people go 2.7 seconds on a bull, but I don't think any were named Fu Manchu. I love the risks I took and the lessons I learned because of them. 

Was I always at my most graceful? No. Did I look and sound like a professional when doing most of these things? Absolutely not. Will I win a Grammy for my glockenspiel performance, impress Gordon Ramsay with my cooking skills or head to Mount Everest for my next mountain climbing experience? Hell no. But I didn't give up on any of them either. I finished everything and had a whole new world of possibilities opened up to me. I can't wait to find new things to try.

So now I am faced with the option of retiring my blog and The Valancy Stirling Project or of keeping it going and challenging myself to a new set of items. I have loved every bit of this project, so although I won't be making a list of 30 things to do this year, I will be making a new list and continuing to blog. Because I love it and people seem to like to read it. And, as cliche as it may sound, I hope that maybe my blog will inspire someone else to take charge of their life and try things they've been wanting to try.

You don't have to sit back passively and watch your life go by you. If you aren't happy with things, change them. You may have to start small, and there will always be things you cannot change, but when they say that attitude is everything, they aren't kidding. Doing things you love that make you happy will improve the quality of your life, and when you feel happy you present that to the world. Happiness attracts happiness, and good things will start coming your way, even if it's only because you are now better able to accept life's disappointments. 




I'm looking forward to my 30th year, for many reasons. I've discovered so much about myself this past year and have become closer to so many great people that a huge wealth of new experiences lay stretched out ahead of me. I've discovered that my temper has improved, and I've found that I get angry much less often, so much so that when someone asked me the other day what kind of things make me mad I had a hard time thinking of anything. I honestly can't remember the last time I was really angry for more than a couple of minutes. I am so glad that I came up with this crazy plan of mine and I'm excited to come up with a new list for my 30th year. Stay tuned!