First Date Times Three

I'm not going to lie. I had my fears that this list item would not happen. With 6 weeks to go before the end of the project, I still hadn't gone on a date. And I had no real prospects. And then, out of nowhere, someone came along and changed all that. This is the story of list item number 29, Go on a Date.

I know not all guys are the same. But up until now, most of the guys (except Toronto guy, who just lived too far away) I've dated have been pretty similar. They were all (mild) bad boys. Kind of rebellious, with an 'I don't give a shit' attitude about a lot of things. Unfortunately, I was oftentimes one of the things they didn't give a shit about, intentionally or not. My ex was the least asshole-ish of all of them, and like I said, although he isn't a bad person, he was absolutely not right for me. And trying to change this was what left me so totally lost when we broke up. This whole project has been done in an effort to get back what I'd lost, and I'm determined that I'll never lose it again. And this makes dating hard. I'm done wasting time, so I found myself ignoring a lot of messages on the dating website, because when I looked at the profiles that went along with the message, nothing jumped out at me. No one seemed right. One guy did seem promising, even though he lived in Fredericton, but one day I went to message him back and he'd deleted his profile.

So I was beginning to think that this list item would go uncompleted. And then I got a message. A guy messaged me and asked me about my pottery class. I checked out his profile and he didn't have a whole lot there, but I decided to write back anyway. At first, I admit I was unsure if he was more interested in me or my pottery class, but he asked interesting questions and seemed to have a good sense of humour, so I kept messaging back. Pretty soon we were messaging multiple times a day and I found myself sneaking peeks at work (shhh) to see if he'd messaged me. After a bit more than a week of messaging he asked me if it was too soon to ask me to meet. I'm not ashamed to admit that I did a little dance of joy when I read that sentence and we agreed to meet the next day. I think the short time frame helped keep me calm. It didn't give me enough time to over-think and stress out.

We met at the nature park to go for a walk. It's always that first moment that's the hardest, the part where you walk up to each other. Do you shake hands? Introduce yourselves? We did neither, thankfully. We just said hi and started walking. The first few steps were hard and a bit nerve wracking, but pretty quickly we were chatting away like we'd known each other for years. Our walk through the trails turned into a walk on the beach, and 2 hours later we were figuring out the next step. We continued with dinner, for another 2 hours and then we watched a movie and talked more. It was like 3 dates in one, and it lasted 9.5 hours. And yes, he kissed me. And yes, I liked it.

We've gone out twice more since then, and have talked on the phone every night we didn't see each other. We still email throughout the day, everyday. 

That's the details of what happened. The details of how it feels to be with him would

take a lot longer to explain. I feel more at ease with him after only a week than I think I ever did with my ex. So many things about him are the exact opposite of what I'm used to, and because of that, I've become shockingly aware of just how damaged my psyche is because of my relationship experience. But he's patient and understanding, and wants to help me, with big things and small things (such as reattaching the 'p' key on my laptop). He makes me laugh and asks me questions that he really wants to know the answers to. And when I ask him questions, he answers them. We have a lot in common and we share a lot of opinions. I don't have to pretend with him. He sees the me I show my closest friends and family and he still wants to be with me. It's so refreshing to be able to be silly with someone, and to have meaningful conversations with someone. I can tell him the truth about things and he doesn't get offended or make me feel like it's my fault.

I didn't see him coming, and I definitely never imagined that one date could make such a difference. I'm trying to take things slowly and not rush, because I want to make sure that we do things right. I don't want to mess this up. And he's ok with that. 

And so, despite the fact that he likes red and I like green, and despite his aversion to vegetables and seafood, I think this thing could go somewhere. At some point I'll have to stop referring to him as 'he', but I'm waiting for him to come up with his own code name. I even let him read my blog, which I was a bit nervous about, so he'll be reading this post soon (hello there, you!!). I warned him about it on our first date. And once again, the project has amazed me with its ability to put exactly what I need right where I need it to be, and to motivate me to put myself out there to date, something I probably wouldn't have done if I didn't have a deadline to meet. And to you (you know who you are), thank you for showing me more of how I deserve to be treated in only a week than any other man has shown me in years. And thanks for making me smile :-)